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  • The SNES fans’ guide to Genesis RPGs

    There are few universal truths in this world: every action has an equal and opposite reaction, JJ Heywood is going to down vote this video, and the Super Nintendo RPG library is superior to that of the Sega Genesis. But is it really? I would argue that for every RPG you cherish on the Super Nintendo there exists an equivalent counterpart on the Sega Genesis. Ok I know you’re skeptical, but indulge me as I play RPG match maker. Besides, who knows, maybe you’ll even discover the new love of your life (don’t worry I won’t tell your old Ninty fling that you were slutting around with Sega).

    Lufia 2 vs LandStalker The puzzles are key in this comparison. Lufia 2 is a semi-rogue-ish turnbased RPG whereas your party spelunks a series of dungeons which feature increasingly more difficult block and switch puzzles. So it stands to reason that fans might also appreciate Landstalker, an isometric action RPG whose puzzles mostly rely on platform jumping and perspective trickery. The method of puzzle presentation may differ but the end result is the same: two gorgeous RPGs with a lot of humor that tax the player’s logic skills.

    Secret of Mana vs Beyond Oasis Here are two stylized action RPGs that are remembered for their addictive combat systems and striking visual presence. Beyond Oasis keeps players engaged throughout the adventure with a robust selection of combo moves, while Secret of Mana does the same with an arsenal of attack altering weapon types. It’s hard to imagine anyone not falling in love with Beyond Oasis, but Secret of Mana fans doubly so.

    Breath of Fire 2 vs Shining Force 2 What does a turn-based traditional JRPG have in common with a tactical one? In this case it’s vibrant graphics and an extraordinary world populated with fantastic creatures not found in other games. You might think it’s a bit of a stretch but I disagree, the reason both of these series rank among my favorites of the genre is the similarity in world building between the two.

    I just want to run around saving the planet with my team of elder dragons and beefy armadillo people dammit. Arcana vs Shining in the Darkness Ok neither of these games are super popular but the similarity was too strong to ignore. Both titles offer a character-driven first person dungeon delving experience in a colorful and cartoony universe. So if dungeon masochism is your kink (and you can’t resist the adorable) I would strongly recommend that you check out either. Or both. Ultima: The False Prophet vs D&D Warriors of the Eternal Sun These two games aren’t just similar, Warriors of the Eternal Sun is a blatant Ultima copy – Westwood studios claims otherwise but they’ve also been sued by Origin in the past so I don’t blame them for denying everything in spite of the evidence against them.

    Eternal Sun’s gameplay may not be as complex as Ultima’s, and the world is a lot smaller but if you love one it’s a pretty safe assumption that the other is just the kind of thing you’d enjoy. Fire Emblem: Mystery of the Emblem vs Warsong When I was making this list I had planned to match Warsong up with Ogre Battle, but the problem with that is Ogre Battle is this really odd-ball strategy RTS thing that doesn’t play like any other SRPGs. Heck, it doesn’t even play like other Tactics series titles.

    So I’m going to cheat a bit, just for the sake of making a better pairing. If you like Warsong then you’re going to love Fire Emblem: Mystery of the Emblem – a remake of the original Famicom Fire Emblem. Both games are hardcore strategy RPGs (and hardcore means permadeath bitches!)

    with an eerily similar aesthetic. Shadowrun vs Shadowrun Ok so this is a bit of a copout, obviously someone who enjoyed either Shadowrun would want to check out another adventure in the same gritty dystopian universe. But consider this my warning: these games are not alike. Shadowrun SNES is more point and click adventure than RPG. Yes there’s some combat sequences, but success hinges on finding the correct clues in the correct order and taking them to the next story point. Shadowrun Genesis on the other hand is a nonlinear open world adventure where you leisurely solve a bigger mystery while going on self-initiated quest runs.

    Both are fun, both are worth playing (Genesis is better). Final Fantasy 4 vs Phantasy Star 2 Final Fantasy 4 and Phantasy Star 2 are like the not-quite-as-good versions of their amazing big brothers. These are two excellent turn-based RPGs in their own right, and sci-fans will appreciate their futuristic techy vibe. Also spoiler alert: weirdly enough both games have a real downer moment when a playable character permanently bites it.

    Super Mario RPG vs Wonder Boy in Monster World vs Popful Mail Hey if you love a platformer turned RPG maybe you’d like an RPG platformer? Ok… this one is a stretch. I mean Wonder Boy in Monster World is a good game but probably not Super Mario RPG good.

    Actually scratch that, Wonder Boy’s not even Popful Mail good. Mail is another cartoony side scrolling hack and slash but it’s her ridiculous humor that a Super Mario RPG fan just has to love. And thanks to the Sega CD’s expanded storage capability all that campy dialog is voiced – you’re welcome. Final Fantasy 6 vs Phantasy Star 4 It stands to reason that if you’re looking for a memorable turn-based RPG with flashy cinematics (well as flashy as can be achieved with 16bit pixel art anyway) and an endearing roster of characters than you need look no further than either Final Fantasy 6 or Phantasy Star 4.

    Unfortunately only one of these titles features a demented killer clown – but perhaps having one is enough. Chrono Trigger vs Lunar Ok so I had to stretch the definition of a Genesis RPG just a bit to find a worthy comparison to Chrono Trigger, an RPG that’s not just the best on the Sness, but remains one of the best ever made. I am confident that I have found a worthy match in Lunar for the Sega CD. Both games prioritized storytelling and character development, and shared minor similarities such as visible over world enemies, dreamy bad guys with flowing white hair, and the redemption of a playable character.

    Ok I’m done and before you ask: No. I didn’t find a Sega date for Earthbound, but you know what? A good equivalent just doesn’t exist.

    I admit defeat, nothing matches Earthbound’s unique brand of nostalgic sci-fi zaniness. But you know what? You won’t find its equal on any other console either. So kudos to Nintendo for crafting a truly one of a kind experience.


  • How to Create Interesting MMO and RPG Quests

    Last week, we talked about how quest could be used to encourage exploration and curiosity, rather than to simply push the player through an MMO treadmill. Today, we’ll dive deeper into the concept, and talk more about how to get players think through all the aspects of your game, rather than perceiving it as a series of unending combat encounters. So first, let me tell you about a quest in “The Secret World“.

    I apologize if this is a minor spoiler for anyone. This story will spoil one quest in the game, but I think it’s useful to demonstrate how broadly you can get the players to think about you MMO through quest system. The quest begins at a church, a priest tells you that there’s an ancient secret hidden in this town. He tells you that there’s a secret path that would guide you on your way, and gives you a number of hints regarding Illuminati sigla. Then, he points you to the sewer cap outside. Emblazoned on all of the sewer caps in the town, is the Illuminati Pyramid, and if you follow where they point, moving always in the direction of the eye, you’ll find the next part of the puzzle.

    Now, this first moment, already has many of the hallmarks of quality quest design. Because it not only gets the player to look more closely at the world, and to care about what’s actually there, but it also gives the player a moment of wonder. Something they took for granted, these sewer cap textures that they run over a hundred times, are suddenly imbued with meaning, and are part of the lore of the world. The world isn’t just the wrapper for the grind, it’s a magical living place.

    That’s a great feeling in a game. OK, so, after they followed that path, they get to a placard that reads: “In the seat of power, the navigator immortalized, illuminating the path to the sleeping priest and fletcher. In memory of Frans Hals, who perished in light.”

    1580-1666 Now there’s a puzzle! First, the player has to figure out that the seat of power means the town hall. This causes them to start looking at the map, and thinking about the places in the world as actual places, rather than simply reference points for spawn locations or quest givers.

    Next, they have to find the painting of a navigator in the town hall. To throw in some tangential learning, Frans Hals, the person quoted on the plaque, was a famous Dutch painter. If the player thinks to look that up while trying to figure out this puzzle, that should clue them in that they’re looking for a painting. Sadly, the painting you find in the game isn’t actually one of his, but, well, anyways.

    When you find the painting, the bottom of it says: “Time is the province of Kings and Gods. The hands of time point to truths written by kings in the words of God. The path is open to the enlightened.” Here’s where it gets bonkers. Player next has to realize that the hands of time mean the hands of the clock in the town hall, which points to 10:10.

    No problem so far. But after that, they have to realize that the truth written by the kings in the words of God, means they have to go crack out a Bible, and open it to Kings 10:10, which reads: “And she gave the king 120 talents of gold, and of spices very great store, and precious stones: there came no more such abundance of spices as these which the queen of Sheba gave to king Solomon.” Which tells you the code to the vault you’re trying to get into: 120 And while the difficulty on that last part ramps up far, far faster than it should, and, in truth, the difficulty between steps and Secret World missions often fluctuate too much, you can see how The Secret World designers have gotten the player to buy into their world of weird mystic paranoia by the end of this. They’ve let the reality of the game bleed into the reality of the player’s world, and made every texture, every part of the environment hold the promise of meaning.

    And they did it all while presenting a set of challenges that exist outside the realm of combat or traversal. Uh…yes, the player has to fight and run their way through the town while on this quest, But the quest wasn’t to kill X-numbers of enemies, or to get to Y-place. In fact, the mission can be completed entirely without fighting if the player’s adept enough, and this sort of alternate challenges doesn’t cost the developer any more to create, either. I mean, those sewer caps have got to be textured either way. Having their texture also be a surprising part of the design doesn’t cost any more money.

    It just takes a little forethought. Missions can either be boring and routine, or a magic entry point for your world. Having them be the latter just involves a little bit of shift in how we think about design. And, in fact, The Secret World goes even farther than this. They really made sure to utilize all the elements of the game.

    There are times where you have to use emotes to pray or applaud in the right place at the right time in order to complete a quest. There are also a number of stealth missions which while clunky at times from a design perspective, simply involve placing incredibly hard enemies that will kill the player if they aggro them, and placing them in such a way that the player is able to move around them without pulling aggro if they think it through. It requires no new assets to develop it, nor does it require the implementation of new systems, and yet, it still delivers a new experience simply by moving the design mindeset away from seeing quest design simply as a method for guiding the player through the combat grind. And that brings us to a few other points: First, if you want quests to feel organic, they can’t just be one of two dozen things that the player accrues every time they rush through town. By bombarding the player with the quest, you overwhelm them with text, and essentially create a scenario where the players incapable of really caring about the quest individually. The player’s thoughts just boiled down to: “Alright, which one of these is closer on my mini-map?”

    The Secret World limit you to one main story-line quest, one big quest, and three minor quests, so you can only ever have five at a time. That’s a manageable number, and it allows the player to think a little bit more about each quest, and invest a bit more in each one. This also lets you get rid of the ridiculous town hub that many MMO players know so well. That safe part of the zone that the player blazes through trying to find the 12 guys who have exclamation point over their heads.

    Instead, constraining the player to a small number of active quests, allows for environmental quests. You find an overturned car? That could be a quest giver.

    You find a note on the ground? That’s a quest giver. Find a corpse in the woods? That’s a quest giver. Environmental quests make the world feel much more holistic and alive.

    By having quest tied to small scenes or moments within the world. Environmental quests also create a much better flow to the game. Wherever you are when you finish a quest, there’s something else interesting to do. And if you really run out of quests, just explore the world and you’re sure to find a quest that pushes you to explore even more. That’s way better than the flow-breaking return trip to town to drop off quests or get new ones. Lastly, most of what we call “quest” these days, I think should be reduced to what I call “tasks”.

    The idea of tasks is a system used heavily in “The Lord of the Rings Online”. In that game, basically everything has a task associated with it that functions sort of like an achievement. So, kill 20 rats?

    Task complete. You find all the major landmarks of this zone? Task complete.

    You kill 20 corrupted denizens of the lower abyss? Yep, task complete. But what made these tasks interesting, is that they all, in the loosest of senses, conferred a small permanent bonus to your character if you did them.

    Not enough to actually make you feel like you have to do all of them, but, enough for you to feel like it’s really worth doing the ones you felt like doing. And this is the key: They created tasks for everything. I mean, seriously, there was a task associated with almost every monster in the game, and this is essential, because, what do these tasks do? They encourage the player to play how they want.

    Maybe today I want to grind neekerbreeker. Maybe tomorrow I want to explore all of Weathertop. Maybe the next day I want to see how many barrow wights I can take down, because those are super hard for me to fight at this level.

    Well, in “Lord of the Rings Online”, you can do all of that, and the game encourages you to. It lets you track your progress, and reward you for playing however you want to play. This is a powerful thing. You can augment your quest system by putting in these types of tasks, and essentially letting the player choose when they want to create difference in kind for themselves.

    Oh, and in “Lord of the Rings Online”, they did throw in one really manipulative task that I just loved. All it provided the player with was a title, but it changed the whole experience. Say, James gets to level 5 without dying once. That would earn him the title: “James The Wary” If he got to level 10 without dying, he’d be: “James The Undefeated” …and so on. Now, I’m not saying that this is a good way to go, But it really makes you feel like your character’s life has meaning, which helps you to really sink into the world of Middle-Earth. And there’s plenty more on quest design that we could talk about, and maybe we will eventually.

    But one last thing before we go: “World of Warcraft” has evolved a lot over the years, and Blizzard is clearly tried to branch and build more than the treadmill/FedEX quest and kill quests that “WoW” launched with. But many of WoW’s clones and the free-to-play games of today seem not to have learned this lesson, which is tragic, because especially in the free-to-play age, just because a game is a MMO, does not mean that it has to feel like a grind. See you next week!


  • Top 5 Scariest Lovecraftian Inspired Video Games

    I love video games – and ever since the days of Splatterhouse, I’ve been captivated by the form. I also love the works of Howard Phillips Lovecraft – so what better way to combine those two things, than in a Lovecraftian inspired video games list? Hello horror fans, and welcome back to the scariest channel on YouTube – Top 5 Scary Videos.

    As per usual, I’ll be your humble horror host, as we peel back the eternally corrupted hard drive – and try and figure out what the hell all of these tentacles are doing here – and take a look at the Top 5 Scariest Lovecraftian Inspired Video Games. Roll the clip. For the curious amongst you, that clip was from the Cinematic Trailer of The Sinking City, which is due to be released on March 21st of the this year – and I kind of wish it was already out, so it could have made this list – because it looks absolutely awesome. But, there’s no point dwelling on what could have been, right? It’s interesting – and a lot of you have raised the same point, over and over again throughout our Lovecraftian lists – which is that the realm of Cthulhu and his Old Ones are often ignored as the inspiration for mainstream media, and Lovecraft’s work has consistently sat on the fringes of literature, cinema and entertainment for the majority of the modern age. But, just take a look at World of Warcraft, one of the most successful video games of all time – and you’ll find that the majority of their narrative is a spin on the Old Gods – albeit C’thun, Yogg-Saron and N’Zoth.

    You get the picture. Kicking off at Number 5 – Sunless Sea Which is just an incredible game, and a benchmark for all PC gamers and Steam fans out there – and also PS4 players too, I guess. If you’re into that kind of thing. Sunless Sea is a survival exploration RPG neatly packaged into a merciless roguelike – which for the non-bookmakers amongst you, is the best kind of hardcore mode you could ever hope you. Released on February 6th by Failbetter Games, the studio behind the awesome browser game, Fallen London – which, if you’ve got a few spare weeks of your life, is a highly recommended MUD-esque experience – Sunless Sea finds the player exploring the bizarre Lovecraft inspired world of the Unterzee, a vast underground ocean brimming with cosmic horrors and cannibalistic mutineers.

    If you can’t tell – Sunless Sea is just a really great game, and it’s a neat little pastiche to all things Gothic horror. Permanent character death, the possibility to eat your own crew – and the opportunity to explore a dark, dangerous universe with nothing but your ship and your wits. Also, the name Sunless Sea is inspired by the Samuel Taylor Coleridge poem, Kubla Khan – which is just all kinds of awesome in itself. Highly recommended. Coming in at Number 4 – Shadow of the Comet And I’m kind of cheating a little bit, because I’d also put the incredibly similar Prisoner of Ice, also released by Infogrames, on this exact same spot – but Shadow of the Comet probably takes the crown for its originality and Lovecraftian authenticity.

    Released by Infogrames in March 1993, Shadow of the Comet – which was later repackaged as Call of Cthulhu: Shadow of the Comet, is an adventure game directly inspired by Lovecraft’s The Dunwich Horror, as well as The Shadow over Innsmouth. Similarly, Prisoner of Ice is inspired by At The Mountains of Madness – and focuses on the same thematics laid out in the original game. Shadow of the Comet takes place in the year 1910 – and in typical Lovecraft fashion, focuses on a young British photographer by the name of John Parker – who travels to the isolated New England town of Illsmouth – I guess they couldn’t get the rights for Innsmouth – to witness and photograph the passage of Halley’s Comet, a short-period astral event that is visible from Earth every 75 to 76 years. Turns out – the last sighting in 1834 had some pretty terrible consequences – and John Parker is about to find out exactly what transpired.

    Also, for it’s time, this game has some of the best voice acting going – and it’s an equally terrifying graphic adventure into the works of H.P Lovecraft. Next up at Number 3 – Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth Ah – remember when trailers were literally made days before launch with just the bare bones of the games engine? Those were the days. Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth was a seminal release for any early-2000’s horror fan, and possibly one of the reasons why you’re even interested in this list. Released in 2005 for the original Xbox, Dark Corners of the Earth was developed by British fledgling studio Headfirst Productions, and published by Bethesda, of all people.

    It was also one of only two video games that Headfirst actually managed to release, and one of four Call of Cthulhu games that somehow didn’t get cancelled. The odds were pretty much stacked against them – but 2005 was a trying time to be a video game developer, especially one that focuses on the works of Lovecraft. Nevertheless, Dark Corners of the Earth was a fantastic sci-fi horror survival game, based on one of Lovecraft’s most famous published pieces – The Call of Cthulhu. On that basis as well, it is also a reimagining of the 1936 novella, The Shadow over Innsmouth, and follows the story of Jack Walters – a mentally unstable private detective, tasked with figuring out what the hell is going on over in the strange, mysterious town of Innsmouth. Spoilers: Fish Men. Most people would stick the Alone in the Dark franchise on this list – but if I’m being honest, I’d always root for the underdog – and Dark Corners of the Earth was exactly that.

    But, in my opinion – it’s one of the truest interpretations of the Cthulhu Mythos ever made. Swinging in at Number 2 – The Last Door Which, despite being wholeheartedly released as a mobile game – it’s staggering how authentically chilling and true to cosmic horror The Last Door actually is – and it’s one of the most atmospheric horror indie titles going. True to the narrative form, The Last Door is a point and click adventure game that was released episodically between 2013 and 2016, spanning over eight episodes of a strange, mysterious psychological thriller. First released by The Game Kitchen in March 2013, the studio developed a small, but passionate community that augmented the direction that the story took.

    The game itself was heavily inspired by Lovecraft, as well as Edgar Allan Poe, and the plot focuses on four childhood friends who attempt to explore an encroaching supernatural territory known only as the Veil. For the most part, the player takes control of Jeremiah Devitt, as he meanders his way through dark forces, the occult – and childhood pacts that bore witness to the machinations of an ancient world. For an indie game, and on top of that – an 8-bit inspired pixel-art indie game, it’s testament to The Game Kitchen’s love for cosmic horror that makes The Last Door such a horrifying pleasure to play, and although it’s never explicitly stated – Lovecraft is in the bones of this game. Great stuff. And finally, at our Number 1 spot – Eternal Darkness Which perhaps IS the truest interpretation of Lovecraft’s work ever made, although it never truly gives that recognition.

    I am also DEAD. Queue trance music. What a great year 2002 was. And what a great game Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem still is. Released in 2002 by Silicon Knights and published by Nintendo themselves, Eternal Darkness is an action-adventure game that legit has the scope of an entire trilogy’s worth of novels.

    Originally planned to be released on the N64 – the studio switched it up and plugged it for the GameCube, which may I add is one of the finest consoles of all time – and I’m still hanging on to mine in the hope that the planet will finally realise their worth. Eternal Darkness is also one of the first modern games to introduce a sanity effect, as the player hurtles deeper and deeper into history and realises the bleak futility of humanity. The storyline itself spans between 26 BC to the year 2000 AD – and focuses on the lineage of the Roivas Family, as they tentatively meander their way across the globe and the ages – Ancient Persia, Cambodia, France, turn of the millenium USA – and of course, an ancient underground city that has been hiding underneath our noses the whole time. The voice acting is insane, mechanically it’s a pleasure to play – and the scope of the narrative is a horror fans ideal rainy day all day gaming marathon. What a great game. Well – there we have it horror fans, my picks for the Top 5 Scariest Lovecraftian Inspired Video Games – why don’t you let us know your thoughts in the comment section down below.

    Before we depart, let’s read out some of your more creative comments from over the past few days. Liesl Zehner says — Jack, you and Lucy need to do a video together. That would make a great video. — Well Liesl, I’m not sure if you saw – but Lucy and I tried to do a video together, and she ended up stabbing me with a fork. Nah, but I’m just kidding – I bounced back, we’ll make sure to hook up a collaboration. Bmore Queeze says — I love the witch in the background need another creature though.

    — Well, sounds good to me Bmore, Agatha the Witch could probably use a holiday somewhere nice. What would you like to see? A dragon? A hippogriff?

    A cosmic horror? Let us know, and I’ll see what we can do. Well – cheers for sticking around all the way until the end horror fans, always a pleasure – never a chore.


  • Top 25 PC Role-playing Games | Best RPGs

    25. Opening our list of Top 25 PC RPG is Final Fantasy X/X-2 HD Remaster Thank heavens for remasters. This critically acclaimed entry from Square Enix grants us the opportunity to revisit a love story that spans decades. Follow the adventures of our favorite Blitzball MVP, his partner Yuna and their friends as they embark on a quest to save their world. The game comes with X-2, the sequel to the heartbreaking finale X offered. If you want to get a taste of Yuna and her gurl friends, then try it out because this game has a PlayScore of 8.54 24.

    Dust: An Elysian Tail A charming 2D Metroidvania game in a world filled with anthropomorphic creatures. Join Dust and his sentient sword as he tries to recollect the memories of his forgotten past. Players are required to acquire power ups in every journey to unlock new areas and progress the story.

    It’s one of the first successful indie games of its time. It has a PlayScore of 8.55 23. Valkyria Chronicles Set in a fictional land of Europa, get caught in the middle of a civil war between two warring nations: The Empire and the Federation. Immerse in a gripping political story and feel the rush of the BlitZ combat system.

    Originally a PS3 game, this JRPG has achieved critical acclaim due to its fun tactical gameplay and a memorable cast of characters. It receives a PlayScore of 8.57 22. Legend of Grimrock 2 Inspired by Dungeon Master, this real-time dungeon crawling adventure revisits the golden years of this genre. It’s a non-linear open-world gameplay filled with persistent injuries that strike your party at any given time. It’s first person view only makes it fitting to survive with your badass friends. It has a PlayScore of 8.58 21.

    Starbound From the developer that brought us Stardew Valley, create your own story in an uplifting game that speaks nothing but exploration and imagination. Build your own world and discover the mysteries in the vast cosmos. The only limitation is your imagination! Team up with a friend, or mess around the game with its mod support. It receives a PlayScore of 8.60 20. Mount & Blade: Warband Who doesn’t love Mount & Blade?

    This standalone expansion pack from the epic Medieval warzone thrusts you into the battlefield with the clashing of swords and galloping of horses. Manage your legion of brazen soldiers because it’s a sandbox enthusiast’s playground. This expansion adds a variety of new stuff including the Sarranid Sultanate Faction and the ability to create your own. Imagine the silly things you could do. It receives a PlayScore of 8.60 19. Dark Souls: Prepare To Die Edition Just reading this can cause a million souls weep onto the ashes of their dead bodies.

    Not only this is the most definitive Dark Souls game to date, it’s also another gauntlet of unmitigated difficulty spikes and pure satisfaction. It’s packed with the original game, an exclusive PC content and all the game’s DLC. For beginners, it’s your first step towards loving (or hating) the Souls series. It receives a PlayScore of 8.61 18. Grim Dawn Action-RPG’s have come a long way since Diablo’s arrival.

    Grim Dawn’s fantastic visual design, exciting combat and a huge world to discover makes it a worthy rival to Blizzard’s dungeon-crawling hit. Play with up to four people, or you can do it alone. It’s an adventure that one should not take lightly. It has a PlayScore of 8.62 17. Torchlight 2 An award-winning RPG that feels like a trip back to the simpler days.

    This sequel to the original makes all the necessary improvements including a better world filled with more secrets and bloodthirsty monsters that creep in every corner. Multiplayer makes a return to give the most fun experience for you and your friends. Not to mention MOD support. It receives a PlayScore of 8.66 16.

    Hyper Light Drifter This indie game feels like an art trip to the fifth dimension. It’s also a gorgeous action-RPG. Set in a world where doom and gloom covers the purple skies and technological ruin of a bygone era. It captures the beauty of 2D Action RPG’s from the days of old. It’s widely praised for its combat and pixel-filled wonder. It has a PlayScore of 8.67 15.

    Deus Ex: Human Revolution (Director’s Cut) Just when you thought you had enough of Deus Ex, Square Enix decides to add at least 8 hours of Directors Commentary in this definitive edition to the most popular entry of the franchise. It features improved boss battles, UI and a more powerful Adam Jensen. What’s not to love about more Augmentations?

    It has a PlayScore of 8.70 14. Divinity: Original Sin Larian Studios’ takes a deep approach to modern RPG. Instead of following through a linear story with predictable scenarios, Original Sin LETS you create your own and see how your actions affect the world. It’s a massive game with a unique turn based combat system, fun quests, and glorious freedom. It brings out the curiosity within you. In short, it’s a rewarding experience.

    It receives a PlayScore of 8.71 13. Bastion No, it’s not Overwatch’s adorable Omnic. This is Supergiant Games’ first entry that received a ton of awards. Just like most Indie games, it’s clearly made with passion. From the fluid hack and slash action, to the badass narrator’s voice, it’s a wonderful game with tons of replay value and customizations. It has a PlayScore of 8.71 12.

    Dragon Age: Origins From the team that brought us Knights of the Old Republic and Mass Effect brings us another dose of RPG goodness. Save the world from the evil Archdemon and witness BioWare’s potential to make good games with story. Step into a fantasy-filled world packed with memorable characters, gripping dialogue and fun real-time combat.

    It has a PlayScore of 8.75 11. Pillars Of Eternity A successful crowdfunded game that delivered. Obsidian Entertainment’s game has been hailed as one of the highest-rated PC games of all time. It’s a spiritual successor to Baldur’s Gate and it shares similar gameplay elements. It’s praised for its impressive writing and strategic combat. It also has two expansions called The White March and Deadfire.

    It receives a PlayScore of 8.77 10. Fallout: New Vegas Two Obsidian games in a row? Dive into this post-apocalyptic wasteland once more as the ideals of man collide into a serious civil war in New Vegas.

    Being a regular guy, get caught up in a spiral of political turmoil in a radioactive mess. They say it’s better than Fallout 4. But you be the judge of that.

    It has a PlayScore of 8.78 9. OneShot It’s more like a puzzle-adventure game than role-playing, but it still has the RPG element presented in it. This fourth wall breaking game gives you a quest to restore the power of a long-dead Sun.

    It’s surreal, haunting and beautiful at the same time. And remember, you only have one shot. It receives a PlayScore of 8.78 8. South Park: The Stick of Truth Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s brainchild puts you in an adventure of a lifetime to reclaim the Stick of Truth from evil hands.

    Use your powerful fart-bending powers and meet the iconic cast of characters from the South Park universe. It’s a turn-based RPG with a mix of R-Rated goodness. Well what do you expect from South Park? It has a PlayScore of 8.86 7. Stardew Valley Ahh, this game.

    Made by one guy. How is it even possible to make a game with so much heart? It’s an adorable Farm Simulator that speaks so much about simple everyday life. It’s how Harvest Moon should be on the PC. It’s addicting, remarkable and it has a ton of content for a price so cheap.

    It has a PlayScore of 8.94 6. Borderlands 2 Welcome to Pandora, a land where random generated loot and sense of humor are considered essential. Steal the biggest treasure along with your fellow Vault Hunters in this action-packed first-person shooter with RPG elements. Bask in its beautiful cel-shaded visuals because this game has a PlayScore of 9.02 5. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Bethesda has ascended with their brilliant open-world design in Skyrim. Be the Dragonborn and slay dragons in a game so open, you’ll be lost in its medieval-fantasy setting.

    One moment you could be fighting ghouls, then giants, then crabs. It’s the perfect adventure defined only by your own. And Skyrim did it so well. Just mind your knees. It has a PlayScore of 9.03 4.

    The Binding Of Isaac: Rebirth After the success of McMillen’s popular flash game, its Steam release breathed new life to this creepy roguelike adventure. After his mom’s dubious divine intervention, Isaac’s in danger of being sacrifice. Help him escape his deadly fate by sneaking out through his monster-infested basement. Conquer hundreds of dungeons, and fend off creatures with your cowardly tears. It has a PlayScore of 9.05. 3.

    Undertale A game that gave every little kid a fanbase to dwell in. It’s filled with the determination of Toby Fox as he creates a world so charming, delightful, yet also slightly haunting. It’s an RPG game that doesn’t necessarily let you kill anyone. Instead, just go about your own pace and watch it unfold before your eyes. Meet lovable characters and listen to the game’s fantastic soundtrack. It has a PlayScore of 9.17 2.

    Mass Effect 2 BioWare’s space opera has transcended to new heights. This sequel to Mass Effect was considered as the greatest of the franchise. With new and improved third-person combat, beautiful worlds, captivating story and an ending so amazing, you’ll rethink your life choices. Commander Shepard has come a long way. It has a PlayScore of 9.18 1. The Witcher III: Wild Hunt There’s nothing better than CD Projekt Red’s multi-awarded RPG game.

    This third and final installment of the Witcher series is absolutely stunning. Explore breathtaking worlds, take hundreds of side-quests, slay monsters, save Ciri, and take gorgeous screenshots. It’s the perfect send-off to Geralt of Rivia’s story. It’s just amazing and it has a PlayScore of 9.26


  • Top 10 PS4 Role-Playing Games | RPG

    Whatoplay presents the Top 10 PS4 Role-Playing Games – This ranking is based on a 1 to 10 scoring system that aggregates critic and gamer reviews into a unique score called a PlayScore. As much as new reviews show up, and are added, the PlayScore changes. – 10th in the ranking is Bastion This indie game made it in the list for a lot of reasons. TL;DR?

    It blew away a lot of people’s expectations! Gorgeous settings in every level, impeccably good voice acting, memorable soundtrack and a deep, satisfying weapons and upgrade system. However if you’ve already played this game before, then don’t be shocked that there are no changes in it whatsoever. A PlayScore of 8.68 – Number 9 is Child of Light This unique RPG stands out because of its novel yet simple approach to strategic combat. It’s a turn-based gem founded on a meaningful narrative, bewitching setting, and exceptional art style. It’s too bad the characters you meet are not that memorable.

    And having conversations in rhyming words does not help at all. Child of Light gets a PlayScore of 8.70 – 8th place is Disgaea 5: Alliance of Vengeance This mega-RPG franchise continues to evolve. A proof that the creators haven’t run out of ideas! A lot of cool new features like the squad system, deep character customization and tons of graphical improvements.

    Veteran players will find it all too similar. First-timers, on the other hand, may be overwhelmed with the many options to choose from! Proceed cautiously. A PlayScore of 8.74 – 7th is Divinity: Original Sin Enhanced Edition As a hardcore fan, I found Divinity: Original Sin to be one of the most rewarding and toughest RPG titles to play. An expansive world to explore, very strategic in nature. Environment, objects and status effects plays a very big role in combat and interesting in-game characters and lores.

    Surprisingly, the introduction of rock-paper-scissors in convos improved the overall gameplay! A PlayScore of 8.84 – Ranked 6th is Dragon Age: Inquisition A brilliant action RPG that could have been perfect. Disappointing plot aside, it offers a modern roleplaying experience complete with a beautiful, fantastic open world, deep tactical combat and level up system. Compelling characters & meaningful dialogues and hundred of hours of main & side quests! Dragon Age: Inquisition further cements Bioware’s ability at making outstanding RPGs.

    It gets a PlayScore of 8.86 – 5th is Dark Souls 2: Scholar of the First Sin At first I thought this game was another money-grubbing remaster. Boy was I wrong. It’s the original Dark Souls 2 alright, but with enhanced graphics of up to 60 frames per second.

    Enemies in places where you least expect. Plus, all the crown trilogy DLCs! The same punishing game with new surprises for veterans… and a very good start for new players. A PlayScore of 8.93 – Fourth is Fallout 4 It’s definitely one of the most anticipated games of 2015… and it lived up to all the hype! Imagine the old Fallout games just better in almost every way.

    Excellent crafting and base building, the gunplay has significantly improved and who doesn’t enjoy blasting creatures in and around Commonwealth? With the amount of things to do in the game, it’s a true time sink! A PlayScore of 9.00 – 3rd is Diablo 3: Ultimate Evil Edition The culmination of two years of patches from the dev team. Ultimate Evil Edition is the pinnacle of Diablo 3. As good as the PC version, almost no framerate drops, even during intense battles. Killstreak improves loot and experience and remarkably accessible to newcomers!

    If you ditch the story and go on Adventure Mode, hours of replay awaits! A PlayScore of 9.13 – 2nd best is Bloodborne An Action RPG of epic proportions! The idea of having a shapeshifting arsenal of weapons at your disposal, while at the mercy of grotesque-looking monsters from the souls series is phenomenal! While not as strategic as the other games in the dark soul series, the on-the-fly weapons changing is perfect for stringing combos.

    Plus, randomized chalice dungeons give the game even greater replay value. A PlayScore of 9.16 – Stay tuned for the runners-up right after we reveal the number one. – And the best is The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt!

    A massive open-world RPG that defines the current gaming standard. Explore, slay monsters, get loot, craft items, talk to people, form relationships, and master the art of Gwent. These are just the few things that Wild Hunt offers.

    Stunning visuals and characters models, amazing open world setting, great combat, tons of sidequests and additional content and an impeccable storyline to boot! 2015’s Game of the Year, Witcher 3 has a PlayScore of 9.25 – And here are the runners-up.


  • By the way, Can You Survive an RPG Game?

    Okay, so today we’re gonna be playing: “Can You survive an RPG game?” hEy Well basically, I mean, we all play games but, what if we were actually in them? What if we’re playing- I don’t know- Maplestory, and then all of a sudden, BOOM, we’re the characters within Maplestory, or BOOM, we’re the characters in World of Warcraft, Do you think you guys can survive it? No… The question isn’t if I can survive it, the question is: Can everyone else survive me? [laughing] Get REKT, I’m gonna kill all you guys- get out of my way Hosuh!

    No- wait- I think it’s- it’s actually so easy to survive, Just don’t- go out into the freaking wild- Daniel: Just become an NPC Hosuh: Stay in town, Just stay in town! That’s awful, what if PVP was allowed and people level up and come back to you and start- like- just stabbing you for fun? Okay, you know what? Let me- let me set the scene. One day, you wake up, Everything’s cartoony, you’re not wearing anything for some reason, and then your mom- who- for some reason, white – comes into your room, And says: “Hey protagonist! Wake up!

    You need to go hunt me some slimes!” Wait wait, what are slimes H: What do you need slimes for? S: Yeah So- So- you being a good Protagonist son, get dressed up, pick up your sword, your arrows, and your magical wand (Whichever you guys prefer) and you go out to hunt some slimes. you- you see a slime what do you do? S: What?

    H: MHM? S: I- I- don’t know, if I saw a sentient slime, just on the ground? Just- Just a reg- like a slime monster basically H: Yeah, but slimes are- S:Wha- what? I’m so confused, what class am I? What special abilities do I have?

    H: Oh-Yo- Need to set out- like- set a… job or something, we should do that first Ooh, I like dead things.. [real casual] So I’ll be a Necromancer, let’s do this Uhmm… I used to be a support, uhm.. I’m a Healer I.. Useless garbage. What!?

    Who- Who’s gonna heal you when you are armless? What about you Daniel? I’m- I’m the- I’m the- I’m the- story teller, But You Know What?

    Yeah, I’ll play along, I wanna be a warrior (knight), I mean, technically we are just beginning so we haven’t really picked our classes yet, so both of you guys have… a sword because none of you guys really have picked the class yet.. Stephen’s a Necromancer wannabe, Hosuh’s a Healer wannabe and I’m a warrior wannabe, but technically, we’re all a bunch of noobs So you guys see a slime, what do you do? I don’t know, I wanna see what it tastes like- I’ve always wanted to know what a slime would taste like. Do you think it’d be like Jello? Because they’re usually green, right?

    And Jello is lime green sometimes Isn’t slime like, an Acidic Monster where.. it consumes like, a Rat and that it slowly dissolves the rat’s body In-inside it? WHAT!? Really?

    [Laughing] So if you were to taste it, like m-mm, I don’t think I wanna taste that Um well your mom wanted- You know what? No, I’m gonna have my own adventure I’m gonna go into town and talk to an NPC. Screw the slime! [Laughing] [Poor slime..] [Still amused] Okay, what about you, Hosuh? You’re on your own, Stephen left you. He’s like “Oh?

    Look! An NPC!” He ran off [Laughing] Screw what my mom wants, she’s not even my real mom! Yeah, she’s WHITE. [Laughing] Yes, exactly!

    Okay, well, I- I- thought slimes are very resistant to.. like, slicing weapons? Use fire. D: Fire, okay. I’m gonna roll for you. S: What? We’re- We’re literally playing Dungeons and Dragons now.

    D: Yes, basically So like, you guys can say something, either it’ll work or it won’t. You rolled a one So you used fire, But then turns out this slime’s immune to fire It dodges really easily, the slime attacks you, you get damaged a little bit, You fall back, trying to recover, and then you stand up, what do you do? Okay, let’s hit it, whatever Where is this going? Okay Well I know where Stephen’s going, and that’s into town, are there any NPCs here? I rolled for that question, You gotta one Wow, all the NPCs are gone for some reason, whenever you try to get close to an NPC, they just run away. They’re running away knowing that you- you- want to be a Necromancer, and one day you’ll try to revive them or something Yeah!

    I mean, like, how else am I supposed to get an army? I can’t use monsters right now, they’re too strong I have to kill, like, human things Then, uh, so there’s no NPCs in town, Stephen looks at the ground dejected All right well, while Stephen’s in the town being all lonely Hosuh’s still having a super epic battle against a slime Daniel, what are you gonna do? I need help Okay. Then, an amazing man named Daniel Comes Out of nowhere, with the long sword on his one hand and a shield on his other- [laughs] and he yells “JUSTICE!!!!” as he runs up to the slime and he attacks And I’ll roll..

    He gets a four! CRITICAL ATTACK! I SWEAR I’M NOT MAKING THESE- I’M NOT MAKING THESE DICE UP, I’M ROLLING and I’m GETTING THESE i’M NOT- I will screenshot all of this!! I attack, the slime gets hit The slime’s cut into half and it can’t recover, and it just DIES.

    [fake Cough] Stop sucking your own dick so hard. [Laughing] Ehh..Okay well then, I’m gonna take the slime, because I need to give it to my own mom, and I’m gonna run away, ’cause I don’t wanna deal with Hos- sharing it with Hosuh What- wait- okay… Mm.. [lonely Hosuh] So I find Hosuh again, right, you know what’s gonna happen, right? Daniel’s just gonna betray us, we- we gon’ betray him first oHhH Oh, so wait, what do you suggest? We need to go and steal these slimes.. No, I suggest we change our classes to like, some sort of Assassin, kill him, and then switch back to Necromancer You have a better idea, Hosuh!?

    H: Alright, so let’s do it S: Didn’t think soOO H: Can we do that? S: I’m gonna do it regardless! Stephen sneaks up behind Daniel, oH, you got six [chuckling] yAAAAAHHHHHHH! [Laughs] [reading and laughing] Stephen successfully stabs Daniel in the back fifteen times. Daniel is dead.

    [laughing] Stephen changes back to his necromancer form Revives Daniel as his own minion [Laughing harder] gOSH DaRN IT [Laughing] He wins! See, Now there you go, I have my own Dan.. Now the story’s gonna go how I want to, I have the narrator on my side [Laughing] [KSJDFGNSKJHAHAHSKEJ] Alright, so Stephen, what’s our next course of action? Oh, we need to give this slime to..your mom S: Yeah.

    D: [Laughing again] H: My mom.. D- Daniel’s Mom is in complete shock Doesn’t know what to do Daniel’s Mom turns into a mob boss, and now you got to fight Daniel’s mom [Laughing] What do you do? I say, ‘cuz it’s a boss, we have to run. So I use Daniel as a meat shield so- so we run away. I roll nope you get a two- You failed Daniel Runs Up to his mom Hugging his mom with his full embrace, they’re in love once again and they’re turning back to you to attack you Even Convinient is Betrayed You do i have an Exploding Minion spell for This you get a 1 critical Fail Daniel Explodes but an Explosion he attacks stephen as well Stephen gets Critically Damaged and I’m gonna Heal in your eyes i roll for That 5, Oh you Heal stephen Successfully i’m so good at This So wait so then How do we Beat This boss we don’t even know how it attacks Oh Shit We Should Run Away Run Away fine i’ll roll for ya Run Away you get a 1 you guys both fall, Dan’s mom Picks both of you Up and eats Both of You game is over start Over [laughing] You mean- What the heck?! D: Wow so- H: What a terrible game!

    D: So- It’s the best game i’ve ever Played Let’s do D: Second Round You Wake Up and your mom who’s Black This time comes Up to you and tells you to go hunt some Boars H: Boars? Hmm ok This time so you grab Your sword and you’re ready to go you party Up with Your friends Daniel Hosa and Stephen and you go on your adventure ( A jojo’s reference shows up) (It’s still here)


  • By the way, Can You Survive RPG game? | Part 3 – Journey to the North Podcast

    [Last episode on : Can You Survive an RPG Game] Random NPC: “Help! My- My husband is in danger!” Daniel: Uh- [NPC chokes and dies] lel [Snickering] Hosuh: Ma’am are you okay- [inaudible talking] [Shameless laughing] D, while laughing: Ma’am are you okay? Annabelle (Ann for short): Hi Them: Uh..hello A: Do you guys wanna go find, Santa Claus? D: Okay… H, snickering: Let’s do that yeah A: Yeah, let’s go!

    D: Stephen, do you wanna– do you wanna resurrect that woman? [more snickering] Stephen: I don’t know. She seemed kind of useless asking other people for help I want people who can stand on their own two feet, so let’s go D: Today we’re gonna be playing Can You Survive an RPG game I get that this is part 3– I don’t know It’s– I think it’s a Christmas edition?

    Like a Christmas special Basically, it’s our own little version of Dungeons and Dragons But with the Christmas twist This video is actually not gonna be animated or drawn by Hosuh There’re a couple sketches every ten minutes or so Which is done by a lot of people which you guys should check out in the description below Otherwise go grab some popcorn, sit back, get some tea, put some Christmas carols on because today we’re gonna go to a small village and the north side on a faraway land Also, like Hosuh said if this video is bad It’s not going on the internet So if you guys are listening to this this must be pretty good. So stick around to the end yeah H, laughing: Alright… Oh yeah we also have a guest, by the way, right? A: Ayyy D, scoffing: Disgusting A, offended: Oh- uh I’m not here for you anyways. I’m here for the cute innocent Hosuh and the– and the relatable Stephen [cackling] D: Oh and Ann’s joining us today, and she’s going to be playing a rogue Basically a thief or an assassin or whatever you want to call it. She steals things and kills things, all right? A, way too content: Sounds good D: Oh also you know we’re professional cuz we’re gonna be using D 20s today instead of D 6s S: Oh- oh my god, and will these not have such crappy RNG?

    H: Finally, a D 20 [Laughing] D: Man, finally [Laughing] So the heroes travel up north for their first journey With hopes and excitement they pick up their backpacks and weapons and go to meet Santa Claus But after a long and weird travel they arrive at a small village All the houses are made of wood and have chimneys on top of them It’s a town where anyone would feel the Christmas spirit coming in. The kids are playing outside The adults are drinking beer and everybody’s just having a joyful time S: Wait so let me get this straight– the houses are made out of wood… …but they have chimneys D: Which is also made of wood A: Then the house will burn down… S: Yeah, how is this not just a town of fire at this point? D: You look at it, and you see a small innocent village, and it just certainly seems nice to just kind of rest, recharge Get ready to go on your next adventure to find Santa Claus S: Everyone looks innocent? D: So what’s your first move? D: What do you guys want to do?

    Who do you want to talk to? S: I’d get out of town as fast as possible And there’s always an innocent town that always has some dark secret. That’s one thing I learned from One Piece Every nice thing is evil and we should run as soon as possible [Laughing] A, quietly: Weaboo.. H: For the sake of the story, I think we should stay Stephen S: Yeah, you know what? If everyone in horror movies stayed for story, they’d all be dead. Oh wait. They are dead Y’know how easy it would have been in just to say nope, big bucket of no no and run the other way “That haunted house over there.

    Don’t go up it.” Okay. Sure wise stranger. I sure won’t go up it “Oh here, take this box.

    It has demons so don’t open it.” Okay here take it back. I don’t want it Could’ve been solved so much easier if we didn’t do the stupid But you know what for argument’s sake and for a good storyline Stephen says kill someone. (Is that) What you want? Let’s find– [Confused and slightly baffled laughing] S: –a random NPC!

    D: No no you can’t just say ‘Let’s have a good storyline’ and k-kill someone S: I’m gonna be the villain here– [unclear talking] D: It has not been a minute yet Stephen! [Laughing] S: I’m the bad guy in the story. I got this D: Daniel stops Stephen A: I have no idea what’s going on but I think it’s fine H: Okay… D: Hosuh what would you do H: All right.

    So let’s go and ask someone where we could find a Santa Claus S: Yeah, who looks like the mayor. Yeah, looks like the mayor in this demon town D: Okay, so you see some kids, you see some– you see some adults drinking beer and you see in kind of these old folks playing chess D: Who do you go to ask questions? S: Not the old folks ’cause they’re obviously playing chess Then you can’t ask the adults cuz they’re drunk Cuz this is obviously a Christmas town and no one has anything better to do it seems. You know what let’s ask the children Can I kill children? Definitely not right? Okay fine.

    I ask the children S: I think we should ask the children D: Daniel shuts up Stephen because Daniel knows that children are scared of Stephen D: Daniel pushes Ann forward to talk to the children A: But I wouldn’t talk to children. Like– Children are stupid I mean children are not very knowledgeable about Stuff Yeah H: Yeah but they also don’t hide anything D: True A: But then why don’t you ask the people who’s playing chess because they know– Okay first of all they’re playing chess It’s not it’s not like they’re playing minecraft or anything so That’s one reason why you should talk to someone who plays chess. A second grandmas and grandpas are nice H: I-I mean… A: Oh you disagree?! D: Ann goes to talk to old people and Hosuh stays for the children S: WOW that sounded wrong A: Hosuh you’re very shady Why do you want children so badly H: Oh okay let’s go ask the old people then! D: Alright don’t even look at you D: You guys walk up to the old people They don’t even look at ya D: They’re playing chess. H: Oh wow who would have thought that would have happened.

    Oh, wait–! A: They’re concentrated you gotta wait for them to finish A: Respect your elders! S: Throw their game over the side D: Okay, I’ll roll for that D: Ooh fourteen! You push the chess off the table the old gentleman looks over says “Huh kid. You got spunk” “I like that.

    What do you want?” [Ann laughing in the background] [More laughing] S: Oh my god S: STEPHEN WINS! Hey, can you tell us a little bit about this town, and why is everyone so…nice Even though you’re all demons, all devil children D, as the old man: “Well a lot of travelers come and go but this is just a small town up north” “and” “There is this myth that Santa Claus does live nearby and so we’re all just cheerful when it comes to Christmas season” S: ‘So you are demons!’

    I say as I pull out my sword, dagger. Whatever weapon I have I don’t know S: What do I have? D: You’re a necromancer you have a freaking staff S: Oh my god.

    I pull out Daniel’s sword D: I’m gonna– as a DM. I’m gonna stop that Just take a step back just a moment here Just uh Stephen you don’t have– to like you don’t have to kill every person you meet you know that right? S: But I don’t have to NOT kill them. Aaahh S: Fine…follow Hosuh or whatever all right, so I don’t kill them H: Our journey is to go and meet Santa Claus ourselves H: Right, so, I’ll ask the elders D:Okay H: Do you know where we could find Santa Claus? D: I’ll roll for that.

    You got a six. H: Oh D: The old man looks over, just stares at you blankly says “You ain’t got no spunk” *Laughing* D: Ask the old man a question A: Oh, what are we supposed to ask? “Hey old man,” A: “Where is Santa?” D: I roll for that you get a one. Oh my gosh. A: Isn’t that good D: One out of twenty is the worst A: But it’s rolling at dice So it’s like you’re moving in a board game like monopoly you take one space slowly D: No, the rolls give you the chance to be successful all right the higher D: It is the more success you can get A: Oh, so what what happens to me now D: The old man says– The old man looks at you and goes “What are you woman?”

    S: That’s– that sexist S: Wait wouldn’t we get false information then? D: Yeah, so this might be true or not But they say Legends has it that travelers come up here And they get ready to go somewhere else to find, Santa but then they never come back. S: Well that part’s true. Oh my god Why else would they say that?

    Ughh. It’s like you just want us to killed Santa cuz he’s obviously a demon. A: Oh, yeah, what does a demon to you Steven? D: Then sudden these small snowflakes start to fall from the sky You look up to see snow, but there aren’t any clouds.

    S: Is Santa attacking? Oh my god! I just want to stab someone so I can get zombies D: Just- Just a- Just a sleigh? Wait a sleigh? You squint your eyes to look closer, and you see this fat old man with a white beard, whipping reindeers to fly. He starts throwing small presents from the air.

    A: Ayyy. S: They’re obviously bombs! D: But the presents as they get closer and closer you realize They’re- they’re huge! They’re 1 cubic meter presents falling from the sky!

    Dozens and dozens all throughout the town They smashed the ground making thunderous noises. A: Can Steven shoot people out of the sky? S: Yeah, do I have any ranged projectile attacks? D: Um… No, you don’t. S: Well GG A: Wait, what does Stephen use? D: He’s a necromancer.

    A: Can he like… throw his staff at them? D: He’s a necromancer. A: Can he like… throw his staff at them? HE THROWS HIS STAFF?! *Snickering* S: Yo, these are destroying the town right?

    I let it happen, because with more dead people, more dead bodies to reanimate! I don’t have to kill them, so it’s technically not morally wrong! H: Ya can’t do that. D: As dust settles, Santa disappears. The kids are excited, the adults are dumbfounded, and the old men got heart attacks.

    The kids want to open the present really badly! Do you stop them? Do you open it with them? What do you do?

    H: Let’s open it with them. I’m actually getting excited. S: Wait! Wait- wait- whoa- whoa- whoa!

    Wait a second, did anyone die from this encounter? D: NOPE! Not yet.

    S: Okay, okay. I think we should leave them because obviously Inside is going to be some sort of zombie, and as soon as you open it’s gonna bite a kid. You know what?

    Yeah, I let the kids open it. You know what, I let the kids open it. A: I say, I’ll just WATCH them go on fire. D: “Let’s open one!” the kid says, and they unpack it. It’s a bomb, a time bomb!

    Ten, nine, eight… seven, six, five, four, three… *panicking* Two! One! *more panicking* Okay! Whole severals- with one second l-left, Hosuh rolls for a shield, HE GETS A TWO! He fails, they EXPLODE!

    *BOOM* *even MORE panicking* One by one, each present explodes, Destroying all the houses. The kids fly over, arms and limbs flying everywhere! S: Change that cuz I don’t think we should have kids dying in this… D: … Old MAN died! Kid’s fly over, and everybody just- D: No, NO HOSUH! DANIEL, NO! No- no kid parts fly anywhere!

    D: Okay. Lots of explosions, people are injured people, like there are so many casualties. The town is completely destroyed, and the dust settles once again. H: Are we damaged from this? D: No, because you guys stayed back to let the children open the- -DFFPH *laughing* A: Ayyy S: We’re monsters! D: You guys are the worst.

    A: *inaudible* I had nothing to do with this. Look at his evil laughter! He’s just continuing to laugh! H: Okay, I’m- I’m gonna spend some turns healing whoever been injured apparently. A: But they’re dead, you can’t heal a dead person, Stephen, Are you gonna let them revive people?

    I don’t think so. S: Technically these people have not done anything to me, so I will just ravage they’re dead H: Stephen Stephen can raise his dead people. I will if they’re dead I guess Roll for Steve instead yes 2000 I get everyone in the town even the non dead people sorry. Haha GG no Riya Alright, since Stephen got a 20 and 20s are rare. I am going to give him this I was gonna say no, but I mean the dice have spoken The limbs and parts of human flesh all combined into this 5 metre tall flesh with skeleton blood all mixed together and conjured up into a Dead living thing and just for the Christmas spirit.

    Let’s put a Santa hat on him Notice we still is this supposed to be a Christmas punch. Oh, so I I conjure my spell with Christmas carols And as Stephens conjuring up the dead and host is healing people and goes to loot some goods. Good goodies Ok and what do you want to do? I want money sounds good. I’ll roll it another 20.

    What’s? Any good as she just walks by just walking walking as people are bleeding Screaming and crying and she just no wisp whistling walkin, and she sees a bank blown up to pieces as she walks up Looks down, and she’s move. What is this? It’s a blade and it’s glowing It’s almost like it’s calling her name It’s obviously some cancer-causing material bow let and keep going what I always wanted to road that She Picks it up.

    It makes her body blow for a second and it disappears She’s not sure what it quite does, but she thinks she should keep it wait So it literally went inside her no no it blow disappear the glow disappeared Oh, yeah, I started going with the thing yeah when you picked it up. I think it’s like a legendary item That’s right wait can I kill my party members? From now on whenever an uses attacks with that weapon it’ll be a +5 We need to get the santa claus or something yeah Any supplies and information now because yeah a terrorist attack has happened Let’s just find someone who can help us now because they’re all easily wanting to kill Santa so we’re they’re gonna give us our quest Yeah, survivors. Let’s hope that they are not little around quickly I roll a 12 yeah, that’s okay suppose that looks around and Somebody moans Hosuh runs up gives him a quick heal. He looks up He says was that-was that really Santa Claus Hosuh says yeah, yeah, I think so He says you know if there is a Santa Claus, and there is two paths you can take The one path leads to the frosty frozen forest The other path leads to the candy cane Kingdom wait if I necromancer one Do they have all their memories intact?

    But this guy isn’t dead oh I’d kill him I Won’t allow it Daniel the man of justice stops and the all day long at this point it just stops David Daniel tasty enough damn you Daniel Alright guys, where are we going? Are we going to take candy cane Kingdom or are we gonna go check out the trusty? frozen forest Forest Lake I don’t know I feel like if we go to the kingdom it’ll be bombed as well Cuz after all didn’t Santa come from that way hmm I feel like he’s just attacking villages for no reason so if we do go there They probably will have a lot more dead people let’s go into Candy Kingdom I Think we will get more clues if we go to the bigger town video city. I think yeah, okay We don’t know what to expect in the past thing yet right exactly you could have an NPC who actually gives us information Because oh it’s actually not Santa. It’s a some devil possessing Santa please free him instead Wait was that what I’m just tagging along as long as I can get stuff You know at the end of this quest just gonna be an with bunch of stuff So with this knowledge you all decide to go to the candy cane Kingdom It’s up north. They say you’re not really sure what that means but Steven hosted annual man packs up their stuff and continues their journey as they walk by a completely Destroyed town about a day passed and then from a far distance you hear that music cheerful Christmasy Constantly singing the same tune so kind of music.

    Oh my god Santa replaced the whole town with the robots Go check it out obviously yeah, okay, let’s go check it. Let’s go Okay, so you walk and walk and walk and you start to see it’s not a kingdom it’s almost like a huge factory you See these little tiny people With stripes on their bodies and a little pointy hat on their tops. They’re all singing They’re all smiling and they see you and they say welcome to candy cane Kingdom. What can we do for you? We want to see toy factories you want to know more about Santa Claus you wanna you want some toys Do you what what would you like?

    Wait that was oh, that was so specific. Do you wanna learn more about Santa Claus? Yeah?

    Yeah, you want let’s let’s go with that option Are you sure about that it could be a treasure I do You can’t get trapped from information, but that doesn’t make sense Let’s go with that. We’ll ask yes. Please tell us more about Santa Claus Santa Claus is he is the most jolly and happy and lovable man.

    You’ll ever see ooh We all love Santa Claus and Santa sounds like he’s sucking Santa’s dick. You want to go see some toys at the toy factory I Mean like we could also just say no. Thanks. You creepy pedophile, and then just run the other way or stab him Let’s stab him can Steven stab this NPC Role for that 15 Steven somehow already stoles Daniels sword again somehow and then stabs the elf the elf screams for a second But then with shivering cut he’s trembling he’s holding his stomach, but he looks up again it says Welcome to candy cane Kingdom Can I stab him again, no wait Okay See our toy factory or learn more about Santa Claus We’re all so happy here Is he is he dying?

    It’s easy easy your deliv is he dying is he bleeding he’s bleeding okay, so he’s not a robot I Think they’re all brainwashed. Oh dicks. I just stabbed an innocent elf. Oh my god that I hope he’s not watching So from this information we know for a fact that the elves are brainwashed by something and The information that we just received is a false information, right? Maybe someone made them Brainwashed so that they say okay Santa’s a good person and all that obviously Santa because how else would have benefit from this hmm When the other elves see this they take the stabbed elf away not even attacking us No woo hoo no repercussions And they all continue their day as if nothing happened This is scary I’m scared Yeah, is there like a big big main office that we can see from our position Yeah, so the toy factory has a main gate that you can walk into huh huh, okay?

    Let’s do this As long as I can get stuff, let’s find another elf there are tons of elves around a Steve it I Can’t necromancer some so that’s the problem like they keep getting carted away before I can just use them You’re pointing killing people if I can’t use their dead bodies as my weapons Stevens the type of person that gets a Coca Cola bottle Empties a coke and says wow now I can recycle this Anyway so Anne walks up to a kind of more important looking type of elytis he has like a He has like a little checklist that he goes through he’s looking around seems like he’s kind of the manager of the place mr. Elf um Wait what we asked him already about Santa List is mr.. Elf. What’s the most valuable thing in this candy cane Kingdom places? Haha, oh, can I just ask him. What are you? What is he doing?

    What are you doing? What’s up? Ma’am?

    Who me that’s good home skillet? We’re preparing for Christmas because we all love Santa man Santa’s so Joyful and he’s so happy and he’s such a great guy you want to come see our toy factory. No You’re lying tell us the truth I’m sorry, but we have our complimentary candy canes if you want to come and see have a free tour of our toy factory Steven I think we should stop I think so too you what you go ahead and you attack with your dagger that does extra damage Whoa, okay, okay? I wanna kill him.

    Hey doodles attack him She say stab me stab stab stab You stab stab seventy haha and Stabs the elf again, that’s the second elf you guys stabbed in five minutes that you’ve been here, okay? Heroes you guys aren’t heroes you guys are like villains at this point Okay, so what happens to the elf does he do the same thing guess he doesn’t get carted away the elf starts bleeding you cops up they by the way the elves have blue blood instead of red he cops off blue blood and Easily grabs his stomach. He says that oh, that’s that’s okay. We still have our toy factory if you want it. Oh My god.

    Yeah, the toy factory is a euphemism for like mind control Brainwashing thing hey, so we shouldn’t go inside. We should bomb it we’re Santa’s bombs do we have bombs from last time I’m afraid of sending my zombie inside. Yeah, we still have the zombies Yeah, no, but what happens if he gets brainwashed too.

    Oh Yuck we can’t Have the Slovenians Vallois, why don’t I strategically plant him while he gets information for us JK That’s a stupid idea. You know what yes. You know I send my zombie into the toy factory then let’s see what happens Another help comes right it will say oh So I heard you guys have a toy factory. Can we check it out? Oh, yeah our toy factories right over here come come, okay, so I send my zombie and while we go talk to other people Actually, let’s put a HOSA first cuz I feel my way. She can’t really do much damage stuff.

    I mean like he could heal us even though he’s brainwashed you stay here there you guys are gonna fine you I Steven goes in with a zombie you want frontline this as As as you’re about to go in an elf with this really rag like clothing That’s kind of Comus covering his forehead in his eyes says hey Go over here Do you ignore him follow him or do you go? Just inside the toy factory. It’s just a drill no no No, he’s not talking like the other elves. He’s obviously not brainwashed Let’s follow him UI he can’t be I don’t think we should stab him.

    I think we just follow this kid He seems like he’s not brainwashed or at least he got on brainwash Or he wants to somehow start a revolution ass flare as follows revolutionising l so you let the zombie follow the the Elves and the elves then doesn’t even seem to notice difference you three start to follow this rag elf And you follow him and some reason everything else seems so magical and special But when you turned around to the corner things seem a little bit more desolate the place seems more dark It feels like it’s an older town, and then you guys walk into a house And then they turn go down to a basement turn right again into little quarter And then a room now when you went into the room there was what there was a bunch of elves But there was one old looking elf now he seemed like he was a thousand years old and they all just stare at you So I probably shouldn’t kill this one. He sounds important. Yeah, don’t do that and let’s not kill this one Well what if they like rate us it’s like five hundred of them versus us or like a room full of elves faces us mm I think we should kill everyone except for the old man and the guy who brought I agree for once yo killing is not the answer in this case Yeah, so then you know, it’s wisdom Power is not indiscriminately killing power is knowing when to kill and this is not one of those times If these owls attack you I’m ally I’m just gonna stand next to the door Constantly looking around making sure nothing’s going on Stephen opens his mouth, but then the old elf starts talking it says instead. Okay, screw you too The elder elf Explains that Santa has started using robots to manufacture his toys Pay and living conditions became unmanageable for the elves so they tried to form a union But they wait is this a metaphor for communism You’re literally trying to shove communism down our throats host Daniel Unacceptable what would Jesus do? That’s a side question, okay, let’s not spoil Then that’s when things start to go south One day one elf and another started disappearing Turns out Santa has been feeding some of the elves to the reindeers oh God that’s gross so the ones.

    I just killed I pretty much fed, two reindeers. Oh my god and WordGirl regarded all Is there a suicide option in this game? Just just to make sure I can take all your stuff right I Want your zombie anywhere information from the old man the old man says you heroes have to save us Although you killed two of our people, Santa killed thousands They’re all afraid they’re too afraid to answer any differently they all just Even at the face of death a lot of fear has poisoned them to the extent oh So they’re corrupted already, so I don’t feel that bad. Haha wow I can’t believe I have more morality in someone and their suffering Please end their suffering the way and is asking You Stephen as my inspiration of killing if you think I’m an inspiration you might wanna Ask Where do we find Santa he went up to the frosty frozen forest or he can be protected by the golems? Okay, that sounds insanely difficult I’m necromancer robots are they techno no already had so I need like Oh So I guess forgot to find more flesh things to use even no That’s a good question. What should we do then suddenly an elf screams?

    Reindeers and impose all the elves start panicking they hide their children people run into that corridor People stall the elves hide in the corners of all the basements they can find and you hear from up above Who’s? Smashing down to the ground okay Are they outside the door? Where’s my zombie? Can I just recall my zombie no zombies having a blast at the toy factory oh?

    The zombie just having the time of his life, man, I mean his his death So I can’t even control him anymore Well penis okay, now. You can stay hide or you can come out in fights. I have nothing to fight with How many Rangers are there so there’s eight reindeers in total Dasher dancer Prancer vixen comet Cupid dunder and blixem also, Rudolph being an Inclusion so nine eight side reindeers and one main dude shoot do we know if Santa knows that this place? exists or like the elder goes Okay, let’s all be quiet Steven be quiet and for the next five minutes You hear screams you hear children running away? Daniel can’t take this anymore.

    He runs out. Oh my god of course Stupid you what you want good. I hope he dies so that I can get a body to resurrect and actually use the fight Jesus are the rest of us just hiding oh, it’s your choice We have to follow them you what spirit we have to follow them do I have any offensive skills or am I just like?

    Based on my zombies Rudolph looks at you and with this red nose. He attacks. He goes for the blind Know pretty much, just like tried to blind us Okay, this bright red nose rudolph release nineteen stevens blind Well dicks hey n do you want to help me hey. I want to chop off Rudolph’s nose Fine then you are care my zombies can see for me alright wholesome, what do you do? Go alright, and what do you do the solar blinded right now our auras only Stephen blinded? Okay While the Rudolph was attacking Stephen now on a run up to there Rudolph and chopped his nose off If we kill the boss duet does everyone else retreat Oreo do we still have to kill everyone else to like the other adults?

    It’s oh my god. It’s Rudolph his nose is controlling people. This is the oh my god do it Right you roll the thirteen, but now you’re using that dagger So it’s plus five so that’s 18 woo such a good and that’s a critical hit. That’s a good dagger I didn’t realize plus five is gonna be this good anyway While the Rudolph’s blinding Steven and Stevens grabbing his eyes crying to mommy Jumps and gets on top of the reindeer she holds onto Antler with one hand and she grabs a dagger with the other and she goes through the nose, but Rudolph knows. What’s up He tries to avoid these swings left He swings right and misses the nose, but does manage to get him in the stomach and she pulls it down, and she she stabs And Rudolph is damaged severely, okay, it seems like if you can get him two more times like that He’s gonna fall Did we win Steven yes get into the role Okay, well, I guess my only option right now is to give Steven a Status repellent repellent off I mean like you could also attack the Ranger Corsa attack the reindeer first No, no you have such bad rules. I don’t think you Can only not see but he can’t hear anything as well Sense is one play one huh where’d everyone go For the first time in a long time Steven is that peace There is no peace unless I can hear myself I Can’t hear you Wait I’m pretty sure wait like Ralph is controlling everyone So why don’t we just kill him the other Ranger isn’t right now, but you want.

    I like this prospect of having reindeer slaves continue continue Let’s end this says Daniel, and he he rolls It’s a three daniel slips falls and then faints Okay I think you have to carry us I like caroline’s or it off snow, so I would attack the nose again. Okay again, I see 18 plus 5 Thats 20 plus his critical hit This time and manages to get the nose she cuts off the nose and it continues to glow She likes to destroy we have to drive she puts it in her pocket acts like nothing happened Oh my god, and I swear to god. I’ll kill you right now Shiny around Okay is it mature oh? No, I gotta talk about this as an looks at that nose and since it’s shiny and round Rudolph is behind Screaming that his nose has been cut off Splattering Wait whoa wait we’re Santa Not you’re Santa Santa’s at the frosty something poor mices Ranger. Why would he go? Why we Neela’s transportation go without him?

    as Rudolph is screaming you hear a thump and another thump and another thump Fight me Santa. Where are you? Steven okay, you know it time has time has passed enough Stevens stuff is gone now. He can see it He needs to participate Oh To see bloodied up and holding a read Over this Luke the look suits you an let’s see let’s do our best work Like You guys look up and a shadowy figure 10 meters tall is Looking down he all he says is ho ho ho We was Steven guys what about Steven? He doesn’t he get acknowledged, just HOSA unacceptable Take it Steven stands his ground and calls his minions to him.

    Nope Steven. We need to run like right now, okay? oh My god fine fine Steven recalls as minions and just runs like hell While using just enough to hold off Santa Santa says you cut off Rudolph’s nose You have ruined Christmas I mean like you technically ruined Christmas when you drop bombs on people, but yeah, okay, sure we ruined Christmas he lifted his hand and Slammed it on to the ground it trembled the whole place You guys can knock the over dicks where my big zombie at? still having a blast filling the toy I Don’t have any sort of yeah.

    Yeah, you what spirit let’s let’s do what Daniel wants cheap Evo For each of us, or it should be rule is to you wanna roll to that. I think we should roars like Collective, maybe okay, you guys got a four Yes, no. I think that’s that’s rule as a individual The first bad rule I get whatever okay? Steven trying to distract Santa, but then Little did Steven know Santa is also a wizard while dicks didn’t see that plot twist Know what Santa can do is he can read minds and manipulate them? He also has a huge bag that contains just about everything not only does Santa get rid of all the elves But Santa goes into me goes deep into Stevens mind Suddenly the screen changes to a flashback of Steven’s background story Steven used to be a happy fellow. Not as hyper as Daniel, but at happiness in his life Why don’t I remember this she actually had a wife named?

    You wanna know? What’s your wife’s name Steven? I don’t know Let’s say Tanisha You know wife she actually had a wife named Tanisha and a daughter named You see so the point of a DM is so that you can make up a story no does this per day I want you to choose Ted Because he wanted a boy However they all died from an ogre attack okay to this day He practices necromancy in the hopes that one day He could resurrect his family completely Wow he’s trying to make me a relatable character The screen comes back from the Stevens background story Stevens like what the fudge, I didn’t even know I had that kind of story in me But he’s now all Steven now all days from this manipulation Santa just caused I’m gonna run so Rules for that 15 Xhosa runs away like a cactus on a tree Yes, sure. He’s gone Wow all your damage will be so useful in the factory Xhosa Runs into the factory he sees the zombie zombies having a little bit too much fun Okay, so if my zombies getting his dick sucked.

    He’s getting exploded right then in there That’s not Just kill Santa it’s not that all I’m trying to oh my god Next turn I’m gonna bring those army back yeah fine, and what do you do I? Want Santa’s hat Okay But if I have their own red nose that controls all the reindeers can I control all the reindeers if I have it? mm-hmm Your goal for that 13 well I guess I guess he can I yeah sure I’ll allow it oh, I want all Iranians to stomp on Santa should Danner and Orders the reindeers to stomp on Santa the Rangers fly up and up and up and then they Fly down towards Santa they smash into him they stomp on him, and they steal his house hat for some reason How are you kid gonna carry you that giant? The Ranger drops it on an covers her whole body. You know that giant Andros. Oh my god Interestingly enough Santa seems to be way more damage than you expected Oh, that’s weird.

    It seems like if you hit it one more time. You might be down Daniel gets up out of nowhere He says Oh Santa I love your work, but let me attack your real quick he rolls an 8. He misses ok Wow Wait aren’t I bring washed or white white I’m confused.

    No. You’re just based from the from Santa bringing up um Steven tries Castillon something He’ll I don’t know aren’t I days. I don’t know what I’m doing you got 17.

    Okay. I Castillon something yes You kissed a girl on a dead L Phoebe comes back to life Wow good for you, okay? So we good, right?

    : okay, Oh dick, so why did you do that first? Yeah? I’m gonna do that but you just went in did you stop GG no re Y’all even care my conscience is cleared for the entire game. I can murder whoever I want now Xhosa takes a jingle bell.

    He jingles the bell on the zombie follow them jingle these balls Okay side note. By the way if anyone ever asks us to do live stream this man is why we can’t This this thing that you see right there called Steven. He is the problem to our live streaming business So wait yeah, so I come back with the column with the five meter tall gone yet, okay, I was gonna buff up Finally playing his role right you get a six you failed What should I do I think I think we should interrogate Santa interrogate Santa I want Santa’s boot Let me necromancy Just strip him naked. Why don’t you a good idea?

    That’s what we’re going through no 19 okay Wow okay Wow and Literally the most wrong thing I’ve ever seen Freakin Anne’s eyes suddenly turns red and she dashes and Jumps almost like a ninja behind Santa’s back and cuts off his legs and takes the boots The whole way She wasn’t about to take him off hard this is Santa screaming falls on to his knees and with his last strength he He fails to attack he rosal to he fails to attack and he falls to the ground You guys have yet to use that stupid gun Daniel gets up he walks up close and asks, so why’d you do it. Why’d you bomb the village? Why’d you cause all this Santa goes, but what do you mean?

    You’d Christmas yeah? We just literally killed Santa I think we would have ruined Christmas Thank you wait. What do you mean? We ruined Christmas? It means that not only did you kill me, but you let those people survive And they they trick people they take innocent lives families parents that try to find me and they they Steal their things and they murdered them And they steal their organs those people needed to be stopped so I bombed what do you mean those people? the villagers Wait aren’t you from the village the?

    Villagers oh my god that village with the old people. Oh my god, what let’s go kill them right now Wait are there any like So basically what just happened was we killed Santa the Santa’s saying that he had to kill the villagers because they They took advantage of tourists. They stole their things they left them to die and this northern freezing cold and like Santa had to bring justice justice to them so The village that we came from aren’t actually good people guess not I mean Santa might be lying I don’t know I would believe Santa elves any day, and they also wouldn’t tell us anything, so I’m pretty sure it’s them the Elves are the ability elves in the village place the one where we started from the shady with the shady one oh my gosh, I told you guys I Literally said if these elves are sure. Yeah, we should just kill us, please Wait no the the the first village were humans they were oh yeah has people The evil ones were in the Candy Land Candy oh the one underground Oh, those guys. Yeah, those guys were.

    Oh my god. How do we find them? How do we kill them?

    Santa don’t die on us Cebu play wait right now You could either go try to revenge Santa or you could try to save Chris Oh? God can we can we kill them after we save Christmas Let’s do that Saving Christmas is a more pressing matter at this point you want let’s kill them leader you I want them to live in fear Knowing that way, but death is gonna come for them, and I will purify their impure lying bodies and minds The second coming of the Apocalypse So now I’ll save Christmas How do we save Christmas oh you gotta figure out some how to get all these presents from that toy factory to all the villages? In in this world and you have one night to do it crap crap crap, and you and you still have your ranger Right yes manipulate your elves correct Oh my god so let’s use my elves to get the presents on the Rangers somewhat and Just have them distribute them throughout the world wait. Yeah. Yeah, I think that’s the best course of action We can’t really do much. Oh wait okay.

    No. I have a better plan Okay, okay, and has the Santa head right and put it on yes And we have so many elves under our control How about we make all those elves? Delivered instead of us mm-hmm then do one. I have to go along Probably look at them to make sure that they’re not like accidentally stumbling over some some random rock because you’re how hard is control that means else tough for that distance I mean just Tell them Situation guys Guys we accidentally killed your master the one that you all live in work for How many elves are in Xhosa, it’s supposed to be candy cane cane your shirt whatever There are thousands and thousands of elves so you set up this plan each elf is gonna Take one village and that’s enough to cover the whole land so each elf starts grabbing presents unfinished unboxed Covered in elf blood and elk blood and Santa blood now, but it’s okay There’s no time to fix this Steven also necromancer’s all the dead elves so some some houses or We’re visited by corpses Okay, that’s how the small packs became And somehow Throughout the night with panicking laughing and definitely not remembering all the dead people you killed Somehow managed to deliver all the presents in one night huh we did it now Steven finds those elves and Katz’s wave of death over the impure film Where are they?

    Unfortunately because a night has passed They’re a bit too far away damn it Daniel smiled We saved Christmas I have elves all over the world right now. I can’t use them to find the elves Stephen takes a minute to ponder his situation and still arise at the same conclusions He still wants to murder the elves this this you want this will be a holiday tradition Zebra will come back to the spot every year every day on the same day and find those elves Eventually you want this will be a Christmas tradition you all let’s do this next year Stephen does it oh? Okay, all right well Well gee all right my gosh that done see you guys when we say we can’t do Dungeons and Dragons we aren’t being humble We can’t do You sound like Hitler dude Whole star Steven do you guys want to say anything to the audience before we hand? Merry Christmas guys know where the elves are please contact me at 6:04 7:03 35:35 please do what the heck that’s my folding. Oh actually no No, no just call me it’ll get to me. I will just like punched a few elves It’ll be my Christmas treats me and say anything I’m just happy with my Rudolph nose That’s my favorite uh-huh Oh it was this a comet for the for the Phil people Oh, I have some requests from you guys Make sure to drop Stephen riding a reindeer and him enjoying it well my pictures of Having sex with a ranger, I will not only quit discord I will quit everything you are reddit Facebook Tumblr none of that exists He likes it Stephen reaffirm Proud to be not a furry so which one of you is why is there anybody?

    I don’t know the fans are know I’m not a fairy the fans are freaking okay Anyways Man I hope you guys have a really good Christmas honestly this past couple months have been really magical for us I hope it’s been magical for you guys, and honestly if you watch this far first of all Why? but second of all we want to hear from you like comment down ask us questions because People that was willing to watch this type of whole thing We won’t also take the time to respond and you know kind of interact you three guys a little bit more Tell us what to do give us suggestions or ask us questions. We’ll be around to comment for a couple hours, so yeah until next time bye right elves also subscribe


  • Top 15 Xbox One Role-playing Games of 2016, 2017 & 2018

    Hand of Fate 2 A hybrid of card and deckbuilding games, roguelike, and a sprinkle of action–Hand of Fate’s sequel brings us another suspenseful battle against the mysterious dealer. Decide your fate with each card you play, and survive every obstacle that comes in your way. With fresh new ideas added to their already great premise, it receives a PlayScore of 8.07 14. Pillars of Eternity: Complete Edition With the release of their latest sequel, Obsidian makes it slightly easier for newcomers to get up to speed with the series’ deep and immersive lore. Offering the complete package in one, this edition contains everything from expansions to all their previously released content.

    Experience the magic of Eora’s world for your own and stand witness to the polish of Obsidian Entertainment’s storytelling, combat, and customizations. A wellspring of new possibilities of new and old fans, it has a PlayScore of 8.16 13. Dragon Ball Xenoverse 2 A highpowered sequel to Dragonball Xenoverse, Bandai Namco takes a turn towards time-bending plots in this latest installment of their fighting RPG. Create your very own character and join the iconic band of heroes as they jump from timeline to timeline in the hopes of saving their universe.

    Taking you into a hub world seven times larger than the original, you’re sure to get your money’s worth of high-flying action. Relive your favorite anime fights with a PlayScore of 8.23 12.Battle Chasers: Nightwar Taking inspiration from classic turn-based JRPGs, Airship Syndicate manages to blend new and old sensibilities into their deliciously detailed RPG. It might be familiar for fans of Runic Games’ Torchlight series, with their cartoon aesthetics and vibrant color schemes. Round up your trio of heroes and set their sights on the precious loot of their randomly generated dungeons.

    Uncover secrets, build up your skills, and solve the less than common problems of the citizens in Harms Way. It has a PlayScore of 8.24 11. Dragon’s Dogma: Dark Arisen Complete editions are just a convenient way of getting all those juicy content rolled into one–and that’s exactly what Dark Arisen does for theseries. Containing all the previous DLCs, as well as a handful of new content, watch the Dragons Dogma universe come alive as you experience its living and breathing open world in all its fullness. Choose from nine different vocations and enjoy the dynamism of ther combat system, along with your trusty AI pawns.

    It has a PlayScore of 8.24 10. Torment: Tides of Numenera A spiritual successor to the BioWare-powered Planescape: Torment. Tides of Numenera brings it to the modern the age, preserving the title’s signature visuals and isometric perspective while expanding the lore of one the best RPGs ever. Within its 35 hour single player campaign, you’ll discover the unpredictable nature of Ninth World as you embark on a quest to meet your maker and save yourself from Sorrow. A crowdfunded RPG that boasts deep exploration, immerse in the details of their universe and weave yourself into their complex narrative webs. It has a PlayScore of 8.27 9.

    The Banner Saga The first installment in what would be an impressive RPG trilogy, the kickstarter-funded Banner Saga has definitely delivered on their campaign promises. An RPG that puts you in charge of a viking caravan, lead your pack through their melancholy world and become dazzled by beautiful animations and breathtaking 2D landscapes. Making use of traditional turn-based combat, the game sets itself apart by putting a premium on player choices, as well as the permanence of lives the lose you lose in battle. As much a strategy as it is an RPG, it has a PlayScore of 8.32 _ 8. Hyper Light Drifter One of the most mesmerizing indie titles of late, Hyper Light Drifter paints a paradoxical picture of a ruined world–bathed in neon colors and absolutely stunning in all its pixel perfection.

    Set in an era where past meets future, meander about as their titular drifter as he sets out to piece out the puzzles of his world’s broken history, all while finding a cure to his mysterious illness. The artistry of the games’ developers don’t stop with backdrops, partake in their easy to pick up and hard to master combat and carve your own path amidst their branching storylines. It has a PlayScore of 8.36 7. Final Fantasy XV The latest in the long-running Final Fantasy series, Square Enix pulled out all the stops in this installment, taking a bromance-laden adventure to a modern, open-world setting worthy of its name. Developed over ten years, the wait was all worth it in the end, giving us an impressive and vast universe packed with their signature quests and boss battles.

    It also a built-in high resolution support that creates a crystal clear picture of their hyperrealistic world. Drive around with Noctis and friends, with a PlayScore of 8.37 6. Monster Hunter: World A beast of a release, the Monster Hunter takes a turn for the global with this latest entry to their series. Released outside its Nintendo exclusivity, other consoles, and the Xbox One in particular, has finally gotten a taste of the ultimate hunting experience.

    While it’s not exactly open world, it does give the players large and varied servings of biomes, each with their own diverse collection of beasts to take down. Always a haven for challenge-seekers due to its technical combat system, you can bring finally bring along friends to the hardcore adventures with their improved online features. It has a PlayScore of 8.38 5. South Park: The Fractured But Whole There’s no doubt about Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s place as legends in realm of TV, but they seem to be carving their own path in the world of RPGs.

    With this sequel to the Stick of Truth, they’ve a created series of out of their irreverent RPGs, this time letting you play as the new kid in town. Get caught in the spiral of the gang’s superhero shenanigans and get ready for a new round of fart jokes, satire, and blazing hot social commentary. It has a PlayScore of 8.46 4. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Special Edition Sure, might be the Nth Special Edition to come out for Elder Scrolls V, but looks like Todd Howard’s got us straight on the nose because we fall for it every.

    single. time. Now the highest rated Elder Scrolls game on the console, retrace your steps as the mighty Dragonborn in the land of Skyrim or travel off the beaten path and uncover secrets far beyond your old adventures. Technically enhanced with remastered art, textures, and effects, it’s the Elder Scrolls V like never before, and it has a PlayScore of 8.47 3. Deus Ex: Mankind Divided Something for fans of the new wave of Cyberpunk stories, the Deus Ex series jumps right ahead of the bandwagon with this installment set in the year 2029.

    Featuring Adam Jensen on the forefront once again, Mankind Divided takes the series back to their roots, fleshing out their oft explored themes while adding a few key changes to their gameplay. While some were a bit disappointed by the ending, it’s been universally praised for its interesting quests and its meticulous attention to detail. One of the best Deus Ex titles yet, it has a PlayScore of 8.5 2.

    Dark Souls III FromSoftware redefined the action RPG genre with their groundbreaking Dark Souls series. And, while it’s closed the curtain in this third and final chapter, its legendary combat system will remain in our hearts (and, perhaps, in FromSoftWare’s future titles.) Enter their nightmarish Gothic universe, if you dare, and try your hand on their addictively frustrating bossfights.

    A dexterity testing treat for gluttons for punishment, it has a PlayScore of 8.8 Here are the runners-up before we reveal the number one: 16. Middle-earth: Shadow of War No longer a stealth-action adventure game centered around Mordor, roam around the iconic places of Middle Earth and amass your amry with the Nemesis System. It has a PlayScore of 8.06 17. Tom Clancy’s The Division An open world FPS set during the blackest friday in fictional history.

    It has a PlayScore of 7.98 18. Romancing SaGa 2 From Square Enix, control several generation of rulers in a battle against the Seven Heroes in this pixel-fueled JRPG. It has a PlayScore of 7.94 19.

    Victor Vran: Overkill Edition Play as the familiar-voiced Victor Vran and catch demons on the loose to free Zaragovia from its curse. It has a PlayScore of 7.91 20. Shining Resonance Refrain The dragons of Astoria need your help in this action RPG from SEGA.

    It has a PlayScore of 7.86 1. And the best RPG on the Xbox One is NieR: Automata – BECOME AS GODS Edition The latest to put their unique spin on action RPGs, 2B sashayed her way to the top of our lists with their philosophical metanarratives (on top of the delicious action scenes, of course. In Become as Gods, players are get to try on varying costumes for the main characters, with 2B in particular getting the fanservice treatment with her “Revealing Outfit.” Play along in 4K resolutions and dive into a collection of brand subquests. It’s a fresh way to play this award-winning RPG, and it receives a PlayScore of 9.22


  • $5,000 in government grants and funding for NZ treasurer

    My name is Jenine Murray and the position I have… …is I’m the treasurer/secretary for our trust, our family trust. The family trust is called Hamiora Whanau Trust. The trust is a family trust that’s been in the family for 20 years… …and we’ve gone through five generations… …and we’re being set up to administer the land holdings… …that belong to the Hamiora Whanau and it’s based on Matakana Island. The trust has been operating for about 20 years. Some of our successes have been to build a new homestead on the land… …and of course it’s been five generations of families. And we also put up a [unknown] of special homes for… …looking after our old, my mum and also, you know, as we get older… …[unknown] is here.

    The other thing we’ve done is we’ve restored… …all the wetlands on the land itself. Here we are on Matakana Island and… …we’re standing on the boardwalk in the wetlands. We restored the wetlands and part of the money is going to be used… …when the family comes home Not only for planning but also to bring them all home and… …we can [unknown] bring them here to continue to keep this place clean… …from [unknown] and bring them back on… …the [unknown] so the kids can enjoy it. The first thing I did was to research myself with… …the New Zealand Grants for Funding organization… …and the next thing I did was just go online… …and have a look at, search for the grants… …that I wanted to see happen in the trust itself… …and just searched for Maori culture planning… …and I found a website that would help us… …to further our plans and I went on there… First of all, we had to have really good audited accounts.

    The other thing was to make sure we had a good trust deed… …and the other one was to make sure that… …we had good minutes that told… …the organization that this was this was the next step… …that we wanted to take as a family and that was it. I think that’s why we got our funding so quickly… …because we focused in on this what we want to do… …this is the next stage in [unknown]. I’m really excited about the fact that… …this funding is going to help us get a better plan for the future… …it’s going to help us stay together as a family… …it’s going to help us create employment for our family… …it’s going to help us expand our trust… …it’s going to help us use a skill set we have as a family… …and create just a better future for our children and grandchildren.


  • Launchpad Work: Creating Employment Opportunities for New Zealanders who need them most

    Launchpad Work is New Zealand’s first business accelerator focused on supporting social enterprises that provide employment for those that face the greatest barriers to finding work. It’s going to be a six month intensive program that will be based in the Auckland area and running from May to October of 2017. The Ākina Foundation is looking forward to using our unique skills and experiences to support the ventures that come through. Our experience includes in the last year, supporting more than 750 ventures.

    During that period, these ventures raised about $1.5 million dollars in investment. So who are you? You’re a business whose purpose is providing employment to those who have trouble finding and keeping a job.

    That could be young people, people who are former refugees or have disabilities. You might call yourself a start-up, a charity, or social enterprise. In any case you take the majority of your profits and you reinvest it back into the business. A 2014 mathematica report found that for every dollar that’s spent by social enterprises in providing employment there is a net benefit of two dollars and thirty-two cents on society.

    What’s an example of a social enterprise that we’re looking for? Pomegranate Kitchen provides wonderful, delicious catering and delivered foods around Wellington. The refugees who work there involved with everything from management decisions, to creating menus and along the way they’re learning skills such as improving their English, Health and Safety, kitchen skills and getting on the job catering experience.

    So what will you get by participating in this accelerator? 1st: Growth support. You’ll have a dedicated coach who meets with you one-on-one and meets you where you’re at. In addition, we have a network of professionals who can provide pro bono support on an as-needed basis. 2: Connection. When you join this community, you’ll become part of a group of high-performance social enterprise leaders that share your passion, ambition and desire to make an impact.

    3: Access. As part of this program, through the group sessions and also the pitch opportunities, you’ll get access to a variety of people who can support the development of your business. That includes corporate partners, it includes potential customers and potential funders and investors. In addition, you’ll have access to the entire Ākina team and our network of corporate partners. 4: Funding.

    Participants in this program will have the opportunity to opt-in and receive $10,000 of funding provided with philanthropic support from the Sky City Auckland Community Trust. This is to enable the enterprises and their founders to fully participate in the accelerator program. If you’re interested go now to our website and submit an expression of interest.

    We’ll use that to keep you informed along the way. We look forward to reading your application. Thanks!


  • A healthy balance for beginners

    Most beginners just start playing randomly and don’t bother studying the theoretical aspects of poker. Those are the people who are not very likely to ever get very far. On the other end of the spectrum you have those who read tons of books and barely play a hand. That isn’t good either.

    If you do not work on improving your game and getting the casino sign up deals, you’ll always stay a losing player or a player who is unable to go beyond the micro stakes. If you study too much without putting it into practice you will absorb too much info to be able to know which theory to use in which situation.

    It is best to find a healthy balance. You could for example go through the basic articles, which are quite short and explain easy to understand concepts, and then play a few thousand hands, posting problematic hands to the hand judges at the end of the day. You can then move on to the first 3-5 bronze articles after which you play another few thousand hands etc. Make sure to mix in the Crushing NL50 series by Hasenbraten quite early as that series is an excellent series for beginners.

    Do not educate and/or scare away the bad players!

    This has been said a few times already, but it is imperative to keep your cool when a bad opponent gets lucky in a hand against you. Keep an eye on your opponents.
    While you might have lost money that one hand you will want to keep playing against that opponent in the long run.

    Bad players (commonly referred to as fish) will leave the game if they are constantly yelled at. They might get better if you explain to them why they won money due to luck and not due to skill. This is called “feeding the fish” and should be avoided at all costs. Be friendly to the fish and compliment them when they win every once in a while. You want to be the friendly guy they want to play against.

    Master the basics of casino sign up deals but do not turn into a robot!

    Earlier on this page the importance of sticking to the standard way of playing as a beginner was explained. You should always remember why you do what you do though. That way you can start recognising situations where shifting from the standard way of playing can be profitable.